Scared & Stressed

Sorry - just haven't been in the blogging mood lately. Just got news of who got hit with our third round of layoffs this year. I can breath a bit easier for now personally but my heart aches for my friends/collegues who got bad news today. This 11 makes 44 for the year and we aren't THAT big a city.

John's job will probably see layoff soon too. He's in the IT at the local daily paper. He thinks his job is safe *for now* but with no upturn in sight our jobs still hang in the balance. I am of two minds over the bailout. I can see it directly affecting my job. We have developers waiting in the wings with projects ready to go but they can't get financing. We are seeing reputable development firms going out of business because they can't finance new projects. And this isn't just the housing market I am talking about - this is commercial development too. And I am hearing stories about people trying to start up their own businesses (there are NO career oriented jobs here in Central Oregon right now) not able to get loans to buy start up. I have friends trying to sell houses who have had offer after offer fall through because buyers can't get loans. Even well qualified buyers. I am not for bailing out banks but we need something to get fixed because our economy and lives are too dependent on being able to get loans to buy things. I can't imaging having to save up cash to buy a new car. But guess what? That may be where we are heading. I just hope we don't have to sell our house and move which is what we would have to do if we get hit with layoffs.

To further stress us out, Tuckers cancer is back. Last week a huge lump popped up overnight in the same spot the last one was removed back in April. The good news is he is otherwise healthy, and no signs that it has spread to any organs. But now we are faced with the choice of having it debulked again at a cost of around $1000. He is ten, so he is old, but otherwise healthy, and minus the cancer, could easily live another 4 years. I love him dearly but John and Jaxon are going to be devistatingly heartbroken when his time comes. I am not really balking at doing the surgery again this time, but what if it comes back in a few months? We can't keep up those kind of bills forever, especially with the uncertainty of our jobs hanging over our heads. At the same time, I hate to not do it.

Jaxon has been doing well on his dairy free diet. I was never much of a milk drinker but now I am addicted to vanilla soy milk. Luckily Costco has it for about 1/2 the price of regular grocery story sale price. I have found soy "cheese" slices and tofutti ice cream - even ice cream bars and ice cream sandwiches. So he is doing ok. I have seen little to no blood in his stool lately. We are still going to consult with a pediatric gastroenterologist to be sure and to get more advice. Unfortunately that means a trip to Portland (160 miles each way!) and his appointment is not until Dec 1. At least none of the Dr.'s seem to think it is anything to be overly concerned about which is somewhat of a relief for now.

So, yeah - not much blogging lately. Just too depressing and stressful! Hope all my blogosphere buds are fairing ok if not well.
-A